expectations
met up with ayu right after work yesterday. she picked me up over at bangsar with her little cute kancil (it really makes me want to get a kancil once i got that damn licence and if i got the money lah.... its cheap tho... rm24k for a new one... but i think i'll settle for a good second hand one which is priced just ard rm9k-rm14k..)
went over to her place at seputeh. the view is just nice and the breeze from up there... is perfect... it is a typical ayu's place tho. i felt that i was actually in her brisbane apartment. the atmosphere is almost the same, cept that the one in kl is a 2 bedroom unit while the one in brisbane was just a studio apartment. with her sofa, her entertainment set, to her kitchen and bedroom, it's just sooo ayu.
ayu is among one of my friend that i can talk anything about life. when we were in brisbane, she would just drive over to toowong, and picked me up, and we would drive aimlessly just to talk and talk and talk, and after that, we just turn back and proceed home. whenever she was stress out over her assignments and exams, she would drive to my place in her pyjamas and heels (ayu is just cute!!) and just sit at the living room and study on her own, while my hsemates and i were in the study room. when she thought she had enough for the night, she would say goodbye and drove back home. she didnt bother too much if there was complete silence in the room, or if we didnt really talk to her while she was over at our place. i guess, we have this unspoken understanding abt not to expect too much from each other.
i know i dun really expect much from my friends. well, i stop expecting too much knowing that i'll be the one who get hurt when things didnt go the way i wanted. and i hope too that my friends dont expect too much from me either. i'm just scared that i cant fulfill their expectations and it'll definitely hurt me too.
i remembered one incident that happened a few years back. i was back for abt 6weeks holiday to spore and it was just right after christmas.6 weeks back in your home country is really really a short time. there's just a lot of things to do, lots of people to meet, and lots of stuffs lah. the moment i was back, my sis in law was in the hospital for a surgery, i cldnt remember what surgery was that tho. she was warded just for a few days and she was home during new year. my late uncle was already warded at the general hospital for tumour and he was in ICU. things didnt get any better when on the second day of the new year, my aunty had a stroke at home and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. we had to take turns to be at the hospital, and since i wasnt working and i was available, sgh saw me everyday. i was shuttling between sgh and home practically everyday. i dont even had much time to meet up with a lot of ppl. everything was just too chaotic then.
after i reached back to brisbane a few days, i received an email from a primary school friend whom i just normally chat on msn, i dont even meet him often. he said that i was a person who forget about friends, and why i didnt inform that i was back in spore as he wanted to meet up for coffee, and why i didnt inform him when i was departing for brisbane as he could send me off. there was just too much petty stuffs in the email and the tone of the email was harsh, i can say. i could ignore the email, but i replied back as i really believe that he need to be told of his pettiness. oh well, called himself a man but he just couldnt accept the facts that i stated in the email. hhmm... susah nak ambik hati orang nie, and bab about pujuk-menujuk nie semua, i tak khatam lagi. he couldnt take it, so what more can i do. biarkan jer lah...... and he got the cheek to tell people that i actually gave him a peck when we were kids. and hell, i couldnt even remember that. i normally remember about these kinda things... aarrrggghhh..
friends come and go, remember things about them, the good ones especially. treasure their friendship as along the way, they have taught u a thing or two. dont expect too much from them, as they might not be able to fulfill it.
oh well... enough said... on the last note.... to all my friends, i love u all. and if i ever expect something too much from u guys, pls tell me.
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23/2/07 13:27
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25/4/07 10:24