was going through my email when i saw this....
Good Woman
A good woman does not live with fear
of her future because of her past.
Instead, she understands that her life experiences
are merely lessons meant to bring her closer
to self-acknowledge and unconditional self-love.
A good woman is proud.
She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is.
She neither seeks definition from the person she is with
nor does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful.
She is strong enough to make her dreams come true.
She knows love, therefore she gives love.
She recognizes that her love has great value,
and must be reciprocated.
If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration
and a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will at times have to
inspire others to reach their full potential.
A good woman knows her past,
understands her present and forces toward the future.
*********************************
how true...
to my beloved cousins, this is for all of us!
yesterdays
it seems like it was only yesterday
we were kids.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that all of us sitting in a room together
giggling away to all the silly things.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that all the four of us sat down
and cry together.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that we would meet up
for lunch and dinner together.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that nana is still single.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that dila, idah and myself are in singapore.
it seems like it was only yesterday
that all of us attended nana's wedding.
i will always remember all the things we did together.
i will always remember all the things that happened all the years.
i will always be there no matter what happens.
i will always be there for you guys should anything happens.
idah, dila and nana,
i want you to remember this,
no matter what happens,
my love to you guys,
will never change.
****************
~
hanyut dalam buaian mimpi dan khayalan
aku sering bermimpi
hanyut di dalam khayalan ku sendiri.
aku selalu berkhayal
hingga terbawa dalam tidurku.
tapi persoalannya,
apakah yang aku mimpi?
bagaimanakah aku bermimpi?
apakah yang membuatku berkhayal?
apakah yang akan aku dapat
dari khayalan-khayalan itu?
aku pernah bermimpi
bahawa aku akan berjaya
tatkala aku dewasa.
tapi aku fikir
kejayaan itu tidak perlu
hanya datang ketika aku dewasa.
aku sering berkhayal
dan dalam khayalan itu,
aku kaya dengan harta benda.
tapi, dalam kenyataan
aku tahu yang aku ini
sememangnya kaya.
bukan dengan harta kekayaan,
tapi kaya dengan kasih sayang
dari keluarga dan teman-teman.
jika begitu fikiranku,
kenapa aku masih lagi terus
bermimpi dan berkhayal?
bila tidur, aku bermimpi.
bila jaga, aku berkhayal.
~
*****************
enlightened perspective
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned.... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned.... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned .. That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
~
missing you.....
Hey my friend,
it's been a while since i last heard from you.
i hope you are doing fine.
i know you are busy with work and your own stuffs.
you gotta take care of yourself.
i'm sorry for what happened the last time.
i never thought this whole thing might happen.
i never wanna lose the friendship we built.
trust me, never did i think of that.
i reckon, i was foolish to act like that.
but, only God knows
what was i going through that time.
i dunno if you still drop by here anymore.
if you do, i'm truly sorry.
i know, at times, i can be irrational about things.
but i suppose, that's how i handle things.
i tried to change,
but it just not me.
like i i told you before,
i just need some time to myself,
and you know what,
i got it!!
i guess, all those things that happened
were just blessing in disguise.
thanks to you, my friend!
i still do care about you.
never did it fade in my mind.
i hope to hear from you soon.
I'm sorry yet again.
~
between love and affection
was discussing about songs that reflect on our past or even current relationship in another forum. sitting down while doing my assignments, a song came to my head. the lyrics are meaningful to me, even till now. those days were so sweet. what we had was not an ordinary friendship, it was something really special. no words could ever describe it.
***************************
antara cinta dan kasih - aishah
Tiada ku menduga
Setelah sekian lama aku sendiri... menyepi
Hadirmu bak selembut bayu
Menghembus dingin di wajahku
Mengeringkan air mata
Kau belaian di jiwa
Genggaman erat tangan mu
Membuat aku terharu
Keikhlasanmu sungguh
Mengusik emosi dan perasaan
Kau jua pernah dipermainkan
Kini kau ingin aku
Membelai di jiwa
Walaupun kau bukan kekasih
Namun bukan sekadar teman biasa
Hadirmu membawa cahaya
Di hati nan terluka
Di antara cinta dan kasih
Apakah ada jurang pemisah
Hadirmu membawa cahaya
Di hati nan terluka... oh sayangku
received this in the email today.....
Truths about girls
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5.When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare okie?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in any way.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook,
she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories .
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
*************************
reunion
over the weekend, lots of things happened. one of the things that still keeps me smiling is that i received an email from a 'long lost' eerrrmm.. 'uncle'. he is my late baby sitter's son. i dun and i had never regard her as my baby sitter, she was just like my grandma. i was never that close to my own grandma when i was a lil kid. this kind soul was the only one i called nyai willingly. the whole family never treated me like an outsider. in fact, i was one of them. i think i spent most of my time at their place compared to my own house. whenever my mum scolded me or even refused to let me drink from a bottle (hahhaha), i wld run up to the eighth floor (i was staying at the seventh floor then), just to seek refuge. i got my own milk bottle there. hahhaa. and i dun think my mum knew abt it. wld drank milo happily from the milk bottle. i wld have my meals on the pinggan cap ayam. love the plates tho. wonder if the plates are still there.
okies, back to the email. was surprised to receive the mail (one of the best mails i received lately!!) was actually screaming when i realised who was it from. i know that i've been very ignorant abt the nice family who took care of me after i shifted house. and i am ashame to say that, after nyai passed away in dec 1991, i rarely, or rather never visited the family again. but it doesnt mean that i forget abt them. i dun think i will ever forget abt the wonderful family. oh my god, tears are actually rolling down my cheeks as i'm typing this. i am truly sorry for being ignorant.
when yayi passed away last year, i was here in brisbane. my mum called me once she heard the news, my brother sms-ed me to inform me abt it too. i called up the place and manage to talk for a while with mak mik (another kind-hearted soul). it took me a few days for the news of the death to sink in my head. i was shocked hearing the news.
i can write abt this wonderful family day and nite. there's nuthing in this world cld ever repay what they have done for me. i love them just like i love my family.
i remember this one incident. one of the grandson, was actually jealous of me, well, i wld too especially if my grandma always sided with an outsider rather than her own grandson. hehhee. it happened after our ngaji classes. he was always trying to get back at me, and at that time, i was just a tiny gerl and i get bullied very easily. hehhe so, just right after ngaji, this guy actually took his rehal and hit it on my nose. and being me, having a very super sensitive nose since young, it kinda bled profusely. the grandson got a very good scolding from nyai and cik mus (the second last child).
hhmm.. just too much memories of my childhood. how i miss them. if only i could turn back time....... things might have been different i reckon.
it's been a while since i last add an entry here. too much things to do with so little time. i'll update soon. i'm doing good over here i hope.
i hope i'm not too late to wish every Singaporean a Happy National Day!!
been a while since i wrote anything in malay,
wrote this while i was in lecture yesterday night.
Aku....
Aku bertanya sendiri
Apakah itu kesabaran?
Adakah ia penting
Dalam kehidupan ini?
Aku bertanya sendiri
Apakah itu kejujuran?
Adakah ia datang
Dari hati yang ikhlas?
Aku bertanya sendiri
Apakah itu kesetiaan?
Adakah setiap persahabatan
Butuhkan kesetiaan?
Aku bertanya sendiri
Siapakah sebenarnya diriku ini?
Adakah aku mempunyai sifat-sifat itu?
Perlukah aku mempunyai sifat-sifat itu semua?
Aku sering bertanya,
Tapi siapakah yang akan menjawabnya?
Aku terus bertanya sendirian....
~
I need to know....
sometimes i wonder,
if we should just keep our opinions to ouselves.
or should we share them out with the rest?
some times we said things before we think,
and some times, we felt that we shouldn't have said it.
some times we are just blunt with our own words
till we do not think about what others feels.
they might be hurt by our words,
we might never know.
when this happens,
i wonder, if we should apologise,
even though we are always blunt with our words.
should we really apologise when
the other party did not say that they are hurt?
should we take the blame when
they start to keep quiet or even act strangely in front of us?
should we really take the first move
even though we are not really at fault?
i need to know if i am really at fault.
i need to know if that person is angry at me.
i need to know if i really hurt that someone.
i need to know if i am the one who is suppose to say sorry.
please don't keep quiet.
please don't run away from me.
please let me know for the things that i do not know.
~
to love is to admire with the heart,
to admire is to love with the mind.
to love and win is the best thing,
to love and lost is the next best thing.
~
people should be beautiful in every way - in their faces, in the way they dress, in their thoughts, and in their innermost selves. ~
My Friend....
My friend,
I'm sorry if I distance myself away from you,
I'm sorry if I did not reply your email or your sms-es.
I'm sorry if I did not chat with you on the net,
I'm sorry if I did not give you a call on your mobile.
I'm sorry for all of that.
It's not that I do not want to,
But I reckon, it is better this way for now.
Just too much things have happened lately,
And I hope I can handle it well.
I keep on receiving news after news,
And how can I cope with all of that.
I'm trying though.
Trust me,
Just give me a little bit of time,
And I'll be good again.
My friend,
You've been good to me.
But it is just hard for me.
I hope you'll understand
That I need some time alone.
What you said the other day
Was really a big blow for me.
Well, my dear friend,
That's the truth.
That's the truth that I have to swallow.
You are still my friend,
Don't you worry about that.
I hope you are reading this,
My dear friend.
You know who you are.
Just take this as a reply to your latest email.
I'm sorry that things have to be this way now.
I'll be good, I promise.
I'll never forget my meals,
that's my word to you.
I still care about you, my friend.
But like I said earlier on,
Only time will tell.
~
The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry. - Maya Angelou~
was at k-mart just now when i saw this piece on a card by Hallmark. enjoy~
I'm Sorry....
I'm so embarrassed
for the way I behaved,
and so sorry for the discomfort it caused you.
If I were a computer,
I could hit the "undo' button,
then send you an apology
from insensitive@sorry.com!
But since I'm a human being,
all I can do is admit
that I made a mistake,
tell you honestly that I feel
really bad about it....
and ask you to forgive me.
I wish i could change what happened,
but I can't.
Instead, I'll focus on making sure
it doesn't happen again,
because I don't want things
to feel awkward,
and I do want you to know
I care about your feelings....
and you.
~